Jer-noulism =]™

A Tale of the Girl Who Lives in the Woods.

2011-09-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a girl living in the woods.

One day, the girl fell down and bruised her knees badly. All of the animals laughed at her while the trees jeered. They did not like her. Seeking comfort, the girl went to the bear. He was kind to the girl, but the girl did not fully appreciate him. You see, the girl was stubborn and quite self-centred. Even so, she slowly realized her faults and decided to change for the better. As time went by, the bear gradually grew apart from the girl. She did not notice that, for the trees and the animals accepted her and she made new friends with them.

Then came a day when the girl finally noticed the absence of the bear in her life. She wondered what to do. Finally, she did the only thing she could think of. She hoped that the bear would understand that she really tried her best to convey her feelings.

The contents of her letter:

Dear Mr.Bear,

Thank you for being by my side, supporting me and cheering me up after all this time. Thank you for the music you used to play me before bedtime. Thank you for your companionship when I accidentally treaded on foreign territory- the squirrel’s birthday party. Remember how lost I was? But you accompanied me even though you could’ve gone around and have fun at the time. You even gave me a birthday present- chocolates, I remember. They were delicious. I feel blessed that I’ve met you. You’ve showed me kindness that I probably didn’t deserve at all. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you when I did not keep in touch with you. I have no excuse for not staying in touch. But I hope that you’ll accept these feelings.

I am a coward when it comes to painful feelings. I shy away from hurt as much as I can. So may I request this one thing? If you’ve forgiven me and decided to continue being by my side as my good friend, will you please let me know by accepting me back as a friend? If not, silence is sufficient for me to know that you’re not willing to be by my side anymore. I’ll respect your decision, whichever it may be.

Sincerely,

The girl who lives in the woods.

P.S. I wish you all the best with Mrs.Bear. May the both of you be safe and happy always.

Home.

2011-04-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

I'm a long way from home
Lost in the deep blue ocean.
I'm in the middle of rome
Far from the Aegean Region
Where ancient wars roamed.
Velvet drench my vision.

I'm a long way from home,
From what home is defined.?
I hear his whispers,
"The Road Not Taken".
Had I taken the other,
Where will I be now?
Had I taken the other,
Who will I be now?
Had I taken the other,
Who will I have known now?

I'm a long way from home,
Far from what is granted,
Far from taking for granted.
Far from what is love,
But close to what is missed.
Do they feel the same?
They who loved me then,
and perhaps even now?

I'm a long way from home.
Much I've seen in my voyage,
That breaks my faith
and shatters my belief.
But a long way from home,
Is how I'm here today.

Ghost.

2011-03-07T07:22:00.000-08:00

There's a Ghost in each and everyone of us. Which is yours?

To be honest, I've lost "touch" with my writing. But as they say, practice makes perfect, perhaps I shall start with some posts and then improve on the writing gradually?

Alright, so, expectations. Expectations to my believe, define who we are. It's what makes us what we are today. The only difference between the successful people and the ones that just live, is that "who are they responding these expectations to"? Take a look at this from my point of view. There are two kinds of individual. One which I shall use exaample of expectations from parents.

Scenario 1:

Parent's expect good grades out of the child. Child works his/her ass (ass because it's unisex) and then becomes the hardworking kid. The "smart" kid. For these children, their character is built upon the pressure or say expectations from their parents from birth till death. This, however, is an example where the child does not realize that he/she has been built upon this foundation and continues to pursue their career path based on only what they are exposed to. I.e. if your dad's been wanting you to become a great doctor, lawyer or banker one day, you'll grow up to be that person.

Scenario 2:

The success of the people in this category are well defined by their own expectations. These people do not rely on the expectations of other people, are able to live a life based on their own wants and needs and what they truly enjoy without being inhibited their interest by other parties. The expectations come from their own desire and producing a result where their life is lived to its fullest filled with passion and success. The people in this group are not easily clouded by opinions and set targets for themselves constantly. They get better at doing more and more things because the succulent scent of success just as comparable to that of barbecue pork.

So here you go, the two scenarios where I find "expectations" from other people defines who you are. Of course, scenario one is not limited to parental expectations, it also comprise of what we know as peer pressure. I would say that this is one of the better kinds (depending on how you see it, but here is my argument) because the people you choose to be with (if by own will and not set up by other peoples expectations) would most probably be the ones that you find comfortable to work with as well as work towards a goal similar to that of your best interest. You may say that, yes, this is a bit more applicable to scenario 2 as the expectations you set for yourself will result in you finding people like that, but I would like to have this picture in your mind where by the expectations of your parents may define your basic traits (honesty, hard work, street smart) but friends play a secondary role where they define who you will become and this is even more true or say applicable if you spend the next 3 quarter of your life living (e.g. starting from college) and hanging out with the same bunch of people.

So there you go. Examples, examples, and more examples. And now, the story.

Hear me out, this is how my life goes (or so I think).

I believe I let people define me almost too often than not. For instance, I have been told, that I try to befriend a friend that I have already made. Trying too hard to click with the people that are already my friends, trying to do all sorts of things to make my friends, my friends. When you've read up till here, you might think "this guy's a joke!" I have to admit I truly am.

I wake up in the morning and look myself in the mirror,the man I see in the mirror reflects a face but not a personality. I don't know who I am looking at, except for a damned hot looking guy (xD). The way my personality is built, perhaps it does not have a strong foundation where a person looks at me and can tell "oh he's a ... guy." Be it "bitchy", "bossy", "manipulative"or "smart", I am none of those (as far as I am concerned). I am the guy where people go, "...I don't know who he is." This is what I believe. Perhaps the mistake in my point of view is that, I already see myself as this and this is how I present myself to people naturally. What do you think about this?

I've been thinking about "expectations" lately. Ever heard of: with great powers comes great responsibilities? Here's a new conquering quote: With great expectations comes great responsibilities. You may ask: what's the difference? Well here's the answer to that: having great powers does not necessarily mean that you MUST meet these responsibilities. However, when great expectations come into the picture, great responsibilities MUST be fulfilled and by lord I will say this, it's not fun at all.

Sure you can say that "we all choose which expectations we want to fulfill." That's a definite win phrase, but that's applicable generally for friends, relatives, people who you do not inherit blood and traits from. So here's my situation, expectations, peer pressure, it's simple, deal with it, screw it, throw it away, whatever. But when bloodline comes in, inheritance comes in, it's a whole different story.

Ever wondered whether or not you can live up to your father's expectations? Be the man he wanted his child to be? This is quite true for most girls with dad's who wanted a baby boy and true for, perhaps a good example would be, the artistic guy sitting next to you in an engineering classroom. Some of us move on in life knowing that we cannot please/meet everyone's expectations. There will be a hint of thread that lingers between our choice and the expectations of dad and mom, but that string is just a strand of "worst case scenario" i.e. taking over the company knowing that your father is diagnosed with chronic and he's got 3 months left. You take up the job so that he passes away peacefully, and that's as far as it's gets(correct me if I'm wrong, but do keep in mind this is just an example for the reference of imagination). This is what most people will do I believe however, it is not my choice, my point of view, my mind set.

There are two things I cannot die knowing I didn't do. The first would be dying a man that my father did not want to see me grow up become. It's the dearest slice pain in my life. Perhaps it is much to ask that he agrees with all my decisions, but I really want to see that this man, who claims he loves me, supports the decision I want to take for life and not have any string attached to it. I want for this man to guide me as I am his son, as how many other dads are proud to have sons in their family. Take me out to business meetings, let me see his works, share the joys and tears of his hardships, his work.

I don't want to live my life fulfilling every single one of his expectations, I don't want to be told how to live my life, which wife to marry and how to raise my kids. I doubt myself of all the decisions I make now from the course of college I take to the choice of girl I like. Am I doing all of this for the sake of the man who I want his love from, to smile, be proud of me and pat me on the back and say it's okay whether or not I succeed; or is it the choice of the man who expects more from himself and pursue his wildest dreams?

Some of you may say that it's not so vital that we live our life according to someone else's bird's eye view but more important to go with your passion, go with the things that you love. I agree to every inch; every four corner, of that statement, but will you also understand that somethings are just too personal for us to take that step, move forward and never look back. For this, I have no examples that I can paint in your mind. The example to this statement is truly personal and only you yourself, my dearest readers, can ask yourself deep in the heart where is it.

My faith tells me that some of those qualities hold strong in us and some of us live in the denial of that fact. Some, we learn to accept that it is our fate, let it live in our life and never bother at it anymore. We may move on but all in all, we know that there's no way to remove it and it scares the hell out of us. For the most, we all try to minimize the doubts that these qualities gives to our making choices.

There's a ghost in the lives of each and everyone of us. It haunts us, we think about it and perhaps like people who don't believe in ghosts, we ignore them, let them linger in us. But just as we are humans, we shudder at the thought at which it exists and when it does appear we may explode at it emotionally. This is what makes us human. We are emotional, we are not static rigid bodies; we have a soul that provides us with emotions. The brain does not cede all. Some times the soul takes over and we resolve to emotional reactions. When it does, what will you do? I know what I will do, cry--and I have.

It's been a pleasure writing this and I hope that it's structurally sound and perhaps if possible, that there may be something for you to learn from here. I really appreciate you reading to the end of this post.

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!

P.S. The last paragraph was in zero ways religious. I really have not written for too long a time.

2011-02-14T01:47:00.000-08:00

Perhaps the thing we all fear most in moving on is that we know, moving on is the equivalent on never looking back. It should be known to all of us the presence of "comfort zone" and that this comfort zone for the most of us, is comfortable in it's personalized ways and for some, too comfortable; for me, I will say this: I have been in a comfort zone for 17 years, this principle of having myself in the centre of my own world has made things my life stagnant and myself blinded by the possibilities of this world.

For what I know now, what I feel, I will say this: never looking back and knowing you've moved on to a harder environment than the one you've always had is definitely a tough call. To this, our lives are almost inevitably controlled by what is surrounding us and not what we are. I think that I have come to reach a point where I want to do even more than just sitting around waiting for apples to grow out of trees, fall and roll over to my feet and magically peel itself off and feed me to fill my appetite, instead, I think the true calling for my near infinite potential is here and it is my duty to reach out and grab it. After all, life gets a little too boring having to eat apples 24/7 no?

For my part, it's one big leap, but it's always that leap that brings us even further in life. For the most, I can only say that for those of you still in your "comfort zone"s, I understand how hard it will be for you to move out, and for me I will not know where or when this big leap will end and how far it will take me before my journey ends, before I return to my old self, being lazy and stagnant of intellect. For now, I think what is more important than how long the journey will be, is that as long as it lasts, I should be grateful, thankful, and for as long of it to last, I should work to my ultimate best to keep it there.

Hence, the important thing here is not how long it lasts, but more of "as long as it lasts". I would like to share a quote Oprah Winfrey has offered to her viewers and to the "enlightenment" of myself: "Luck is when opportunity meets preparation." Am I prepared? Am I lucky? I cannot be sure of that, but the opportunity has showed up, I have gotten hold of it, and now, I shall prepare for my luck.

Adios

LEGEN--WAIT FOR IT --- DARY!!!!!

2011-01-19T07:30:00.000-08:00

Okay. You know the knida feeling where you look at people doing things they're passionate about and nostalgia stings on the back of your ass like a big fat enraged wasp? Yeah.. College life gave me that kinda feeling--sort of.

I bet you've heard of the "I want to make dad proud" line before and if you'd reckoned that it's total crap, perhaps you're right. I am unable to comment on the matter for 1. I would be a hypocrite; 2. I just am not you :/

So here's the dilemma:
A levels, Physics + Further Maths (10% to "I want to make dad proud" and not really studying for it at home [because I have no text--is an "excuse] makes the other 90% slump into a big fat drain. You could blame the style of writing on the influences that "How I Met Your Mother" has given to me (not technically I met your mother..) but still, who's to blame a kid, at 17 ++ realizing his path is what he was "destined" for or just.. planned for.

I remember the first day I stepped into the class room(not too long ago) when our Mentor Miss Grace asked us to briefly introduce ourselves. She asked us to say something interesting about us. Funny thing I could only think of : Artistically Inclined and not : I'm super smart. Today, during physics, Ms Chu asked about our ambition and aspired college.... I'd say I did terribly on this part because I was 1. Emotionally driven; 2. The questions was for PDP. So there you have it. My answers were: ambition: Industrial Designer future university: New York Arts Academy. Can you believe that? !@#$%^!!

What ever on that for now. I read on the newspaper today that people/leaders who really succeed in life are the ones that really take the time to think about what they want and then drill themselves to find passion in those things that they do. Then, there's the extra where my mom came an talked to me about habits. She commented this about me: "Jc, do you know what is your problem? You can't handle too many things at one time and that you're unable to manage your finances properly." Hmmm...... Those two things may not seem to puzzle up together now but I bet Time Will Tell. Only the best :)

So there you have it. College(2 days) and, thoughts to share :) Do you have a thought to share?

BTW, played ball under the 1520hour sun today, excruciating. Painful. Deadly. Ouch. The end.

Peace out!

Life as it is.

2010-12-08T05:47:00.001-08:00

We Only Live Once

There’s a famous saying that goes “Yesterday’s history, tomorrow’s a mystery, and today’s a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” Most of us agree to that saying, in fact in terms of agreement, the phrase might as well be regarded as perfect. However, it is intriguing that although we do agree to the saying, we don’t really live up to it.

It’s inevitable that we’re humans and we’re not perfect, that we have cravings, desire—lust even. I believe most of us may be able to look at our reflections and tell ourselves that today’s going to be a blast, I’m going to study, no fooling around. Shamefully, that’s not what we usually do. When it comes to something that we have to do, need to do, we often neglect it’s urgency for something less important but more desirably urgent and tell the case “Nah its okay, I can deal with it tomorrow.” I won’t even try to deny that I am not one of those kind and in fact, I’m very much a role model of these people. Then what do I want to talk about here?

I think through my days of SPM, I have learnt much more than I would have further down the road of my past. See it as the student that’s finally ready to receive knowledge to be passed down by the ultimate master himself (experience). I’ve learnt some of my character that I am a very intelligent person (so to speak) but I am very weak as well. See of it this way: most of us probably would be able to deal with last minute “burn the oil lamp” studying methods. I on the other hand, have zero capability of doing so. For me, the best preparation is by at least one month or more before the exam. Last minute studies do me no good and for the most I try, I would most probably end up getting appointed a C (which I am expecting) than the usual A+.

Then enters the living room are my friends that play all day and do no studying (even at the last hour) and still do well—based on shittiness consistency. As we all know, friends are our greatest assets—assets that enrich our living experience by their own idiocy and ours—and that we cannot live without them. So here is my dilemma: Play hard and die in stabbing pain or study hard and die lonely?

For me, I have picked the harder trough. I chose to study hard and die lonely and to build that path, I have led myself to a school known as Seafield and tried at my very best to neglect social contact, which also, I inevitably failed. Then, by choosing the harder path, I did not “when things get to hard, we PUSH—ON—THROUGH.” And unlike the poem “The Road Not Taken” I did not keep on walking but turned on my back and looked down the pass I travelled and tried to make a U-Turn, which then resulted in a very costly affair. Right now, I can only say that my choice to move to Seafield was fuelled by arrogance and desire and now, I am in what we call “deep shit”.

What goes on after that right now I have learnt is that it doesn’t matter anymore—really. Because Like the saying that goes: Yesterday’s history, tomorrow’s a mystery, and today’s a gift. That’s why it’s called the present, I have enlightened myself of the understanding of tomorrow is something we cannot control and because of so, I will not hope for “what goes on after that”.

Readers, from my experience it is the choice that we make that makes us who we are. Descartes had a very famous saying “I think therefore I am” and fact is it is very true. Think about this, if you were to delay every single important thing till tomorrow, fact is you are very much just a procrastinator. If you dwell on “what could’ve” you’re then someone who probably has low self-esteem (like me) and live your past (again, like me). If you’re someone who lives the moment, then you are.. Well…a very happy person.

By now, it should dawn you that this was a post only to urge you, my dear friends whom I have and will further part with to live whatever moment is left in our life and live it well, not just to the fullest which is only filled by idiocy. Make choices that are unique to our own likes and be a leader—not to everyone but to ourselves! To lead our own life and not be controlled by other elements which pose to only satisfy our daily lives. You see, I have been watching too much Youtube.com videos lately and getting to know KevJumba and NigaHiga is just inspiring. If I were to know these sort of things were possible, I would have been in Hollywood filming stunt action filled movies for you right now. But then again, “I would have been” can only be described as vague and irrelevant.

Tonight, I thought to myself, we only live once and we will never know what’s ahead of us (unless you are Nazi religious, then you probably “know”) and because of that, I told myself this, “I don’t want to die next to my spouse only to whisper to her ears ‘This life sucked’ and not ‘I love you’.” Because if that were to be my life I would carve on my tombstone:

Here Lies Law Jer Cherng

Loving husband, Father, and grandfather, greatgrandfather.. and more..

Who was really just fucked.

Today was the last day of SPM. Friends, ask yourselves: what have I really done for each other? Perhaps the truth is sublime and enlightening. Remember, cherish this moment you have with everyone around you because the next thing you know, you might just get “Bieber Blast, Ha!” and die of lameness.

Hereinafter lies the end of this post.

Signing off,

Jer Cherng

P.S. Friends, I do love all of you and I regret deeply of my choices but the consequences were in a way rewarding and I am glad I have taken this path.

Hello from the future =]

2010-12-02T09:08:00.000-08:00

So, it’s Thursday night and I thought, since I am a blogger, and that I haven’t been updating my blog for a couple of weeks now, I probably should post something up.

As we all know, SPM is, more than around the corner it’s for some people it’s 77.78% gone now and for unfortunate ones like me, it’s only 70%—which… sucks. But anyways, for all the SPMers out there, all the very best for whatever % is left of SPM!

The quote for today is, “you got issues ah? You got issues?” That’s what I’ve been hearing quite often lately, and the respond is inevitably, “tissues? You want tissues? I got. Come I give you.” If you’re wondering why the English is broken, it’s because it’s Manglish. So anyways, this would bring us to the relation of the quote and my post.

So as some of the people around me (about 4) would know, I’m tristful right now. The future ahead of me is dark, sort of like in the abyss of someone’s ass—which stinks. Why? There’re a couple handful of reasons why.

1. I’m a jerk

2. I’m not independent

3. I’m a jerk

4. I deem life not urgent to me.

5. I’m a jerk

6. My sarcasm is too much that it stinks

…and yeah I think that’s the list of it (as you can see, “I’m a jerk comes out pretty often…).

Then there are some of the suggestions I got from my friends on how to be someone comfortable to be with:

1. Friendly

2. Cheerful

3. Always willing to talk

4. (uh, I forgot this one)

And then there’s another friend who mentioned being yourself is basically not feeling weird about what you’re doing. If you want to be nice to people just because it’s the norm and you force yourself to be nice—even though really it’s not something you like to do—you’re not being you and that would feel weird to you. A metaphor for example, is like “You’re eating eggs just because everyone’s eating eggs and you know it tastes horrible and yet you chew on it and ‘mmhhmm it’s good!’ cz it’s the normal thing to do.”

I would say, the best one was this, one that was “Adviced” from my very good friend. He jumped right into it and went, “HEY! I’m JC! Nice to meet you! What’s your name? I..I..I’m.. C.. C.. Cynthia..” There you have it. It’s stuttered, um, whoever said it might not have perfect English (like me) and it was a true incident that happened. This happened in a public library where details are not so important. When he mentioned it, I felt “ownership” in me, like, it wasn’t something weird, it was something I was confident with and I could feel my pumping self-esteem but then everything went awry—down the drain. I put on my cool, and everything was shit.

I think what I’ve learnt from here is that, there’s a moment for me that I feel most myself and that moment is only as long as how long a glimpse of daylight lasts. Short but the moment takes a doser on you. It’s significant in many ways, it’s significant to me that, now I remember this incident took place, I feel like there’s somewhere to look for myself.

Then there’s this other thing in relative to “a small incident”. However small something may be—I just want to express this, there always may be something that we can adopt or heed lesson from it. Then again, there are the people closest to you that know you best. I tried getting comments from random people, it just didn’t work. Sometimes, you could even put it in a way that it just wasn’t that right time when he hit me with that. But I think, perhaps we should stop forgiving ourselves for not fighting for every moment and blaming it as “time’s” fault and start doing something about it.

That’s all for now and again, good luck to all SPM takers. Thank you.

(Gawd I make everything seem so complicated!)

Here.

2010-07-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

This is a fairly intriguing post for a man with quite rather massive ego of himself. Indignity will live on ruefully. But I digress.

You see, as disturbing as this shouldn't sound, I still AM 17 years old, and have just made a fancy for Iron Man and his Repulsor Tech and The infamous Arc Reactor—both of which, defies all Laws of Physics. Rather, Eistonian Laws. Whichever.

Right.

So, this two weeks has made some considerably radical progress of decisions and makings of goals for myself. You see, Iron Man isn't the subject here. What's more important is that, from putting a girl up there to set a goal of attainable reach for myself, I have made things somewhat much more easily depicted as, impossible—making Iron Man my wannabe. Ironic? The debate is yours. But I count on this. Iron Man, of course EVERYONE would argue, is impossible. It's fictitious, and in my case, a hypocrites decision. So you shout at my ear, "Wait, you wanted her because she was within grasp and now you want some red gold colorings with no sentient of reality at all? You must be insane!" But no, I won't hear you. You're not close enough.

See, Iron Tech, fictitious as it sounds/seems, is not so much of "impossible" to me. Not at least right now. I have a mindset for now. SPM definitely, and then, some of the best engineering Universities and then, embark on Mach 3 relishment. Don't start. Yes, the F-22 can only reach Mach 2.22. I know. I have the book.

Anyway, so this is as much as that goes. I have made up new plans on leading my life all thank you for miss Yi-Li who so willingly shared her experience with me. And now, I'm on Mark I phase of making my world a better place for me to live.

You.

2010-07-23T11:53:00.000-07:00

Come to me, the moon is closer than your eyes; I can barely see through the cracks, Light shines out my scars. Sirens scream—scream, in vain.. I have already died, a million times inside.” – Time Bomb performed by Jesse Greene

True, the siren is blaring in my mind. Witch senses tingle in my scars.

Jack said, “So near yet so far.” Similar to the metaphor, the moon is closer, than your eyes. It’s true. But during the daytime—once—I will be able to see your eyes again, the moon, non-existent for the moment (for it is daytime) and the hour becomes a dream. One that would fade within the only thousands of seconds it has for me to see you.

I would tell the people I know that I’m too lazy to work a checklist. The truth is of course non-the simpler, than because a picture of you would describe best what the list cannot.

It’s not so much of an “I like you situation” nor an “’X’ mark on your forehead kind of thing” It’s more of, you are the ‘X’ mark (namely the dart) and everyone else is where the ‘X’ mark (the dart board) would fall on. You might argue that this sounds absurd, but it’s true. After what that last person I decided would take second glances at, had stamped me with unruly distinguishing—the sort I would call, like putting a V12 in a Kancil—I trust this much that my decisions are dignifying. Though, for, the persona whom had allotted me with the lousy lot didn’t have much of “allot-thorithy” to put me anywhere. Saying this, I can hear she who bears the ‘X’, calling me a lousy egoistic son of a bitch.

I don’t blame her.

If there is reasoning to be done on why she is the ‘X’, it’s quite simple. I have explained, it is because she quite depicts what I would want. Just to say a boy, would like a monster truck for his toy. She although is no monster truck. But what’s important is this. My dad said, “If you aim high and you reach for it, you’ll fall somewhere near what is ‘high’.” Then I with my brainiacally logical mind, derived it to make it more exciting. “If you aim high, you reach it, and you go over the fence, a great deal of ‘wealth’ awaits.” I bet you know now what this all is about. It’s about, putting someone there but not merely reaching for it and falling somewhere in between. Rather, putting someone up there reaching for it and wanting more.

Shameful as it is, I admit, I am quite the greediest. Because—for I can never have enough, she is what I want most for now—to par against her performance. You may say that this is an excuse for liking a person, but I’ll say no. Because I am sure it is not.

I know to be just as good as you, is not an easy task. But I cannot define what I want and that is why, I have put you as a form of “definition”. A form viewable, reachable, touchable, not impossible. What else can a person want more, for an impermanent definition of goal?

Legacy

2010-05-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

Every being has a legacy. Akin every being, every country has its own. Then, that would lead us to the world--our planet. But let us start with country, something not too big or too small.

The Geisha is a historical cult of the Japanese. Symbolizing many things and one of them may be elegance. You see, the Geisha is thought more than any women or men would learn and will be nurtured with musical skills(for some, talents), to become what is known by today's world, an "escort". It is quite certainly though that the Geisha does not "escort" you through her pubic as the modern ones do, and also quite certainly, they are of higher bidding.

Now then, done with the Japs, let me go on with our "friendly" allies, the States.

The Imperial unit tells the world the liberty of the States, just like its Statue of Liberty. Not much history to be told here, as the journey in this story shall embark.

Peace and freedom--liberty, has been fought by men even four thousand years ago. Today, pirates of Somalia raid the rich to satisfy their greed and feed their sailor's child. Now, mankind from the States of Liberty would be judgmental and hail the causes of these Somalian rouges to be unethical and at times, regarding them as uncivilized cannibals. True--but who are they to say such things when the inventor of the atomic bomb was kidnapped by their marshals and forced to produce one for their own desire to bomb Hiroshima? Then, i is true that the State is a State of Liberty. But no, it should not be brought to be symbolized by the pale emerald stature standing 93 meter tall--a gift from its French allies, but by its disastrous weapon, the nuclear bomb, a stolen invention, a production by inglorious thieves.

The citizens of Iraq could now recognize a B-1 bomber from 50 clicks away and its villagers will hurry into a scramble for shelter in its bomb shelters. Sure, now, these men and women; child and toddlers, were safe--if they have not yet been caught in the scurried stampeding of tenths of thousandths of people, but where will they sleep in the night? Where will they obtain their food and hydrate their thirst, when all sources have been contaminated? Wouldn't it have been better off if they'd just be buried under the big man-made Mayan Tree? All their cells mutating within split-seconds, debris showering on them, thermal pulses burn their eyes. Before they can scream, their lungs would contract and expand so hard that their trachea will crumple. Little alveolus will pop like popcorns people in Seattle savor as they feast their imagination on powerful graphics of Iron Man. Now then, these men and women will only have their blood left to cry--replacing tears. Children whom would come out of shelter will see ghosts of their family,; nightmares of the "earthquake". Then, a man in the "button" room will say, "finally, it's over." Little will they know, their nightmares are just about to turn reality. And then, it would be their child's turn to scream, to scramble, to mutate.

This is war. It never ends. As a man's legacy is passed down in his family's bearing for his admirable successions; Men and its kind, will take on war as their legacy, our legacy. As to for the world, we will be recognized for these ugly events, having them reflect who we are. It will tell of the universe, "our 'pride' lies on the shameful things anyone will ever imagine men would do."

Legacy.

Baton.

2010-04-30T06:03:00.000-07:00

The conductor of an orchestrae or a normal choir, has to be focused on with every feather detail of its wings, how his/her hand sways, it must be given full attention. If swerved, the consequences that the team must face is substantial. But one must wonder, it is such an easy task, why would one complain of its level of difficulty? We must agree though, this fact is hard to argue, its simple--focus, observe, execute. Zero+simplicity. Today, I faced a problem. It's so troubling that I am thankful that the "trouble" was not there at the time where I needed to give my full attention.

What happens when the chamber has two conductors? Where do we look upon? The answer for this question is quite ascertained. The main conductor will be our focal point. What about the secondary one? Forget about the person. But how am I to judge who is my main conductor when such beautiful creature impose herself upon my vision? Also when the conductor is not too less handsome herself, of course, the one who stole my heart, was the "secondary" conductor to all, but the main conductor of me, the one who conducts me. The one that swings her baton and releases my heart into a race of thousand horses.

Imagine, stampeding arteries, veins, blood, everywhere in your body, just waiting to burst into billions of million fresh red blood. Then again, I am the only one who takes heed into loving the succulent scent of blood. It confounds me every time it rings in my nose. Then again, only humans can argue over such vampiric character of mine. But am I to be blamed? The only thing left to find out-how does her blood taste like? Then again, until we meet again, let me dream of you in my slumber, and never wake from it, not unless you would have been waiting for me--forever, to be mine.

Love!

Installation Night

2010-04-24T09:58:00.001-07:00

I think it's my duty to blog about this almost immediately. Finally, after 4 months of preparation, the Gavel present term officers has been successfully installed through the Installation Night that my committee and I have worked on--for 4 months.

To start off with, attendance was quite a disappointment. Things picked up about later, but I'm glad the seats were filled in :) However, according to plan, we are supposed to have more events, and we moved the agenda almost everywhere. Thank you to Jeffrey, on behalf of the Installation Night Committee for preparing the needed documents for us.

Then then then then. Let me thank my committee members. Of those who were involved were:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
7.
9.
10.

P.S.Sorry Wei Ken, I'm sorry your button doesn't work, but at least have fun clicking it ;)

Committees, I really couldn't have done it without any of you. I think this is especially true when it came to the sketch. Even with the paper with hand, none of it could have done it without another. Michelle, I'm looking forward to some babies. Maybe you would like to make me one? :P Then, thank you Shu Hui for script writing, Ling Hui for being the manager for out performers.

Past Term Officers, Thank you very much for helping. Of them:

1. Wei Herng--on-site PA

2. Pei Qi

3. Samantha Leong

There were sponsors for my event too. Of them, Mr Choo-my Piano Teacher and Principle of Masters Touch Music Academy; Joanne Wang--Lady Boss SUMO Restaurant USJ 9 for 1- pieces RM30 food voucher; Committees who died for the presents, Jeffrey especially, he sponsored 3 hampers, superbly expensive, thank you Mr Boey; Parents of all committee members who have donated some of the lucky draw prizes; my BM Tuition teacher Mr Ling for a RM30 Parkson shopping voucher; my neighbour Miss Tammy Lim; Sydney Optics for RM 100 2xVIP Tickets; Hawker stalls for 2xRM50 VIP tickets; and finally, my mom for RM somany and so much blood, love and sweat to help me get sponsors. Those of whom I have missed out, I am sorry, but do understand we appreciate your efforts too.

The dinner was awesome. No really, it sucked. I only got to eat the Spaghetti Carbonara :( oh and something that tasted like chicken fish. I really don't know what it is. So don't ask :P But I know this, the food was awesome. Thank you Chefs-on-duty, it was amazing. Then, Anawi and Zul for helping out during the event. You were great on-duty. Summit Hotel Resort and Spa officers, Kawlinder Kaur and Balqis Abdullah.

Performers Shaun Chow and his band, thank you very much. Shaun, I am terribly sorry to have occupied you at your most dire moments. I will pray for your father's well-being as to all those who read, I hope for them to pray within ourselves for him too. Your performance was terrific. I enjoyed your vocal. There was real quality in it. Polished, but not too, where of course, improvement to be even better can be done. If there are any functions, I will definitely get to you. Your alto saxaphone was incredible as well as your acoustic guitarist. Thank you all.

For the treasure hunt winners, I hope that you indulge in your hamper, it was not an easy task to complete, yet you made it. Bravo. To those who I heard had gotten placing for no. 2 and no. 3, Kudos to you all.

Today I have met one of my old friends from 6M--again; the last time during last year's AND1 competition, namely Vivian Heng Wei Yean. Girl, you've gotten more "handsome" as classic english tells us. It is not a bad thing, in fact, it very well is one of the better compliments from a gentlemen. We took some pictures with the SJK(C) Subang "clan" and I was rather happy with that. Astounding. Now, I presume that you(whoever took those photos) will tag me and post it on Facebook! If you haven't add me, my page can be found on the writers "corner".

Towards the end, I apologize again on behalf of our committee for the confusing "Closing session" But I hope punctuality in closing has found comfort to your well-being. To my distinguihed guests, THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH FOR COMING!! Of those again, some were my friends who never gave in even till the last of minutes when he could have backed off. Well, it paid off! You won the Grandeur Prize for the lucky draw event didn't you? Enjoy :)

I believe this post has once again been fairly long for my part. I shall now part. For those who are interested in public speaking and who would like to join THE 1ST MALAYSIAN GAVEL'S CLUB, do feel free to drop by during our:

next meeting on the 1st Sunday of May--2nd May 2010

Time: 2:30pm-4:30pm

Well! Once again, thank you all for reading! Have a goodnight, good rest. I shall stop here.

Yours only and most certainly sincere,

Jer Cherng

2010-03-20T23:53:00.000-07:00

hohoho. holiday's are ending. what i did do during the holidays are : lazed around doing basically nothing, went for my first camp ever( St John 4th Divisonal Camp) which seriously totally rocks, and went for a movie with friends.
it's a really really short holiday for me, and i didn't really get any work done. ohwell. idc. i still dont regret going to the camp. hahah :)

tomorrow school reopens D<
and i shall taste the fury of teachers who are chasing me for mai homework.

pictures !
webcam-ed with brotha just now. :D

ps. might blog about camp. :D
stay tuned !

2010-03-15T01:04:00.000-07:00

My mind is blank and my heart is filled with hatred. Maybe I'll put up a post about Sunday's talk soon enough. However, I viewed the official trailer over rockyourlife.com and it's pretty cool. Mind-blowing I would say. Oh well, friends, we'll keep in touch okay? ;) See you in a bit add me here.

2010-02-27T21:18:00.000-08:00

Huh, I'm like, writing this from my dad's class mate reunion party. Oh well. I'm actually writing this now because some really heartbreaking thing just happened. Well........... :)

I was eating lunch with my dad's friend's mom on the same table with his granddaughter and my sister. Ah well, the life. Lunch was rather famishing. It was really good with the fact that it was cooked by someone near their 70's (looked like it). It was Hakka styled. I bet dad and mom enjoyed their share of lunch too. As well as my lil' brother, who gags everything down into his oh-so-big-fat tummy(nearly-everything). So anyway, when "grandma" came to join us for lunch, she started asking the typical grandma questions. Well, they definitely are.

She asked whether who cooked for my family back at home. Automatically, it was mom. That is assured. Though I really don't know who else would if she didn't-and practically tremble at the thought of that too. So hey, she asked whether my grandma cooked for us too-which actually she asked that first. And I said no. She continued with the thought that my mom did anyway, because they are much calmer in thought of anything at all. It couldn't have been any worst(then).

We continued the lil' chatter over lunch. It's very Chinese to do something like that. It's cultural. She asked if I was Kim Ching's(my dad) son and of course I said yes. Well, who would say no to their dad, right? Okay. Period. Then comes the typical. She asked where was our hometown, whether we went back there, of course then again, answering the location, I said yes as well. Then, it was another typical question. Who cooked back there(not so this one but yes in her case as she cooks for the family here)? I said well, my "grandma" did that for us. But of course, she wasn't my grandma, and surges of memories came flushing down already. She went on, asking whether my "grandma" is of what Chinese clan(e.g. Hakka-like herself, Hokkien, Teochew). And there I answered Teochew. Then we went on. But because I told her that wasn't my realgrandmother(my granddad had two wives), she started prodding into where my grandmother was. Okay. Cool.

"Where's you grandma?"

-Silence-

"Huh? Where's you grandma?"

-Silence, a bit of a bitter giggle-

"Where's you grandma?" She never did raise her voice though, as if just to repeat herself again, thinking maybe she didn't ask.

"You don't even know where your grandma is?" She kinda answered that herself while I wanted just to mention that my grandmother is "out of town". Kinda in the States. A big fat lie. I rendered defenseless. I really didn't know what to say cause truth is, my grandmother is kindaDEAD. Oh well, Guess we all try to live through some moments in life not expecting to be thinking back at it.

It was odd, that waves of tears were washing through my brain. Bitter giggles all done, but tiny drips of tears were coming up my eyes and I had no idea why. Of course, that should seem normal. Your grandmother died, you cried, I get it. Thing is, I never shed a tear at my grandmother's funeral(several two-three years ago) and this feeling shouldn't have had come to me-especially not today. Maybe it's the feeling that someone would be very sad when someone's gone for real. But hey, the person who asked was definitely frail. No elaboration here. Go figure. And I really didn't know what to say. My Grandmother's dead. ? Sure, at such a scenario where people are having their Chinese New Year Gathering and I'm just going to come up with bad memories(definitely hellpit for daddy) and then ruin everybody's day? Not going to happen. But someone, please come up with an idea why I would have had an impulse to cry at that moment. No? Nobody? Well, it's just simplistic. Maybe I shouldn't have to be the one to see other's sorrows, see other people go. Well, no one should have to, but everyone has to live life that way, live a life of letting people go. I guess it's fair that way. Well, let's just see how that goes later on.

---The End---

If anything, call me.

2010-02-26T06:33:00.000-08:00

If you feel like crying-call me.

When you're down/upset/unhappy-call me.

When you're rejected-call me.

When all the world has failed you-call me.

Because you know I'll be there for you to count on, for you to count for.

And then,

Lana Lane to Clark Kent[as superman],

"If you're out there protecting the world, who's going to protect you?"

Me to Lana Lane,

"Good question. Who IS?"

Fact is, no one will. Superman knew that all too well, that's why he was watching everyone's back, everyday. Perhaps that was what I have been trying to accomplish all too lately. And then question,

"Risking your life for the world. Is that worth the paying for? When people defy you as mutants"

-Tagged, Spiderman.

but we all know, that's why they are called "Superheroes" what about those of us? Who so willingly drops everything aside just to care and founder for the people who they think they might end up cherishing? Not so convincing eh? The sense where it isn't because it doesn't compel us to do so for them. After all, we are not "Superheroes". Ironically, we all later complain that we want to be-for those we wished forgot-and have regretted it. Don't we all?

This post, I should mention, that I do not know when it WILL finally stop. Me, blogging, and definitely, the crucial content, "let go" of what's no meant to be. Discombobulated, I'll just bear with it as I did. It always goes away. It does. It never stays. Just like how it did back then. Let it be for awhile and it's gone. Will this be just as it was for them as for you? I hope so/not. Because-ultimately-I can't decide. Something you don't feel for a bit is back and now, knowing losing that sort of adrenaline, could cost you another half a soul-as abstract as the whole thing should seem.

Then I ask myself and confuse myself even more, if I don't do this thing here now, when will I do it? I HAVE to be committed at something right? Cope with everything as it should and then let everything lose slip. Great. What's next? "Life's a bitch"? I do hope it's just as simple as that, but it isn't.

See, I'm just bearing the "pain" with you no matter how "excruciating" it is. Because, in my standpoint of view-? I see it this way, it's never "excruciatingly pain". Tell any of your friends that you are being cornered down to a dumpster by a girl you might actually have fallen in "like" with, and say that it's so unbearable, they will just tell you, "Fuck it. You don't have to be doing this now and then. Just screw leave it be. Why bother?" Because the whole world doesn't. So I shouldn't? But fact is, everyone's been through what I've been through. But they already have, which makes them not in my standpoint of view. Which all the better, not only am I confusing myself right now, I confuse my readers. If you understand this, I would wish to express my thanks to you. So look me up on Facebook and give me a call, add me on msn, say that you understand. I'll say thanks in return of the 30cents call-as well as understanding,of course.

Now then where is the source of complexity in this? Hypocritically, it's nearly very simple.

You fall in "like". He/She ignores you in every-what/when/which/how/where/why, way and you try not to feel it.

He/She never mentions your name to anyone, you pretend you don't know.

You make assumptions based on things-many things-you know and you assume you're just thinking too much.

Couldn't be much plainer right? Whatever you have known, you throw it aside. Wishing tomorrow's going to be a better day. Because now, he/she starts putting some words together to make a sentence and tell you something and you try to make it as if all of darkness has vanished. Light has come to offer benevolence, warmth and love. However, start telling her/him something he doesn't want to hear, and the lid above the well is now closed, lock in with sheer darkness and writhing coldness. Worst of all, you never know what's right; when it is right. You just don't.

The fear of hurting him/her then puts you into a deep vortex of headache. Spinning-aimlessly, endlessly. And so you go on to ignore everything else. Try to put yourself to bed, sleep, hoping tomorrow it will be a new morning, everything starts over. But it doesn't. From the day you were born, that was the only time you had a chance to "start over". How do I know? Because we all do. That's a fact no one is ever going to face. That's a fact that cannot be escaped by anyone. Trust me, it is.

And so I can only say,

"Lol. And how quaint it is that now it has become to her understanding where I WILL always be there no mattered what and hence, she tends to me later; after; ignoring the will of my existence; whilst "he" is more important though he is also ALWAYS there. Thank you for treating me like dump. I do so well APPRECIATE it."

when I really don't appreciate it. "It's a lie that sets you free" as composed by James Blunt-Love Love Love.

Today, you asked me how truly sorry I am for hurting you, I was stunned, I didn't know what else could I have said. Of all the people in the world(as of now), you would be the last one I wished I'd hurt. And I try not to ask myself this, "How could you ask me that?!" Answer? Because you don't know me well enough.

I triple think before I try anything towards you, that's why I always end up with nothing. If I were to act on impulse as I do, I will not be who I am to you today. Because right now, I don't. True also to saying that "I love you", I don't and can't. Don't expect me to say that because I don't know how much more I will hurt you. Every letter in those three words count. Resent me for hurting you would wash away all those 8 letters. So how can I say that? I'll just have to proof it to you. There's no saying "I love you"s cause there's only,

"I really do care about how you feel about me."

I never trusted you enough and don't know if I will. Because deep down-I know, without trusting myself first, I can't trust anyone. Because I won't know what I am saying. Especially not what I have said. So forgive me for not tending to your wants. But then, call me if you want.

i'm sorry.

2010-02-25T02:23:00.000-08:00

examsarecoming.
diediediediedieeee.
another super short post again.

when things just doesn't seem right.
i'm afraid, afraid of losing you.

Hari ini AKU buat Summary. Scha copy this.

2010-02-24T05:02:00.001-08:00

Done in Msoft words so no doubt the passage below is DEFINITELY 130 perkataan x)

"Reminiscence can help to uplift one’s spirits. People can be more cheerful and happier when thinking of good memories than when thinking of their current lives. People spontaneously reminisce when they are unhappy as pleasant memories are antidotes to feeling blue. Reminiscence can motivate a person and can give one a sense of support, meaning and purpose. Nostalgia is a potent mood booster as it gives us a comforting sense of belonging. People who write about good memories have higher self-esteem and are less prone to depression. They cope with problems more effectively and are more willing to receive social support after experiencing stress. People who are not nostalgic may recall the good old days. However, sometimes it triggers painful emotions and one should focus on how positive it was.

(130 words)"

This one's for you. All of you.

2010-02-21T09:17:00.000-08:00

Well, hey guys. The Chinese New Year holidays are over. Valentine’s Day is too. Some of us may have had our fair share of love and some might not have been just as fortunate. But hey, that’s where our friends come in and say, “don’t mention it. After all, that’s what friends are for right?” Right, I so totally agree—from what I’ve seen. Well then, this post I must say is very well dedicated to my friends. Those of whom I have finally started to miss, those of whom I’ve lost 60 bucks to and those of who, I do like and love, and now, cherish.

Chinese New Year was a blast (I love that word). A great one for people I know especially last Saturday. We all had fun, relaxed times, where we had the clock to gamble at but some of us might’ve felt the rush and had to race against the clock. I was one of them, not forgetting to mention Dylan and Jack. I must tell though, despite the race against time, Dylan was fairly polite when all I did was waste his goddamned time at Sheann’s house. Hmm. Well, guess I should thank him for that. Arguably, he became a nuisance right after we left. Of course then, I myself could not help the desperate gasp for oxygen.

Consider that post continued at the ones below. Now then, let’s go on.

It has been a moment for me to look forward to, that Saturday, and also, since the time I entered “love realm” things, had not been just as, uh, fluent for me. My whole schedule toppled. My life dismembered from its core components. My mind distracted by every inch of the fact trying to consider whether I DO love her. Fact is I don’t dare say that word anymore—other than to my mom, dad, and close relatives. It’s really odd when you’ve finally earned the meaning of that word. It somehow seems so hard to just say those three words. Even when facing my siblings, it’s not just as easy as it is to say it to Shu Hui. Odd? I think not. Anyway, I got pinched on the sole of my foot. It looks fine now but I swear it was painful. This then was the part where she came in and literally messed up my mind, and focus. All these, happened right before and during the Chinese New Year, even it is right now.

Then comes the part where I need my friends. Having my mind off homework is like setting of a time bomb craze. When my mind is empty, all I do is evaluate myself. All the worst, when I do so, I start to think of the people who I would have needed to accomplish such goals in the near now. Well, having said that, I have been in quite the frenzy during the basketball game with Jack. Noticing how ugly my behavior is not just with the them in Thirteen, but also with these people in 5E. I can’t stand that loneliness being in Sheffield and definitely can’t stand the pain trying to avoid thinking of the word regret and remorse because that is exactly what I think I feel like. It’s at the near end of February and then I realize it was a really bad idea coming here. I have no friends to talk to naturally (I don’t mean you Scha) and that part of me who could’ve laughed and felt like I belonged did not follow me here. I believed that every inch of me could live without friends. Having “friends in the now” are not the ones that I need, not the ones I should trust, not the ones I should follow. Going to Sheffield, that was my original mindset. But now, I have no doubt that I need them all. I understand now Christina C., of how you felt when you came to Thirteen and all the little girls and boys who’s had been forced to change schools. Today, now, tomorrow and the coming weeks, months, days, I know, I have no choice but to survive alone. I don’t know how far I can go but I sure can’t let nobody down this time not because it’s the new me, but because I have chosen, to be here, to be “alone” when I cannot. Well, bottom line, “I told you so”. Yes, you did. :/

I have to admit that all these feelings only hit me right after I fell in like with that gal. It was like a dream come true when before the next; the only thing that could hit me was that I am literally chasing Ghosts of my past. These people where I have so willingly let myself label them in a “The Past” box, have become what I am going after; has become the people I need and somehow love. Although I have been “neglected”, it has become to my knowledge that the only person who needed to change, was not my environment but I.

I should have known earlier when there was a frequency in me going back to that school. I swear to dear lord that whenever I’m there, I would have smiled a lot—genuinely; authentically, you name it. But somehow I never really did felt it. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I kept going back that I didn’t feel like I did miss you guys but now that I’m 4 weeks and going, away from you guys, I swear my brain is crying when its medulla oblongata is wailing No way you’re doing this. Yes, no way. But sarcasm might put it “All ways are mine” to walk. Well, they all are. So hey, guys, I really don’t know how long is 9 months but I sure as hell know that, it’s going to feel like heaven and earth. There’s going to be a lot that I’m going to have to deal with without any of you assisting me and filling up the “Where I belong” hole. Truth is as well, I do hope it gets filled by all of you but not the Sheffieldens (Sorry guys, but I just don’t belong here).

It’s been helluva post and I know why (because I’m doing this on M.soft Word) and I hope those of you who do get to the bottom of the post, thank you for reading. And those of you who didn’t well, you won’t be reading this part (but if you do, thanks J). I do promise that if I had more time in life, I will finish this post longer and in several ways of humor. And hey Sheann, yeah, well, thanks for the life you’ve returned to me. I don’t think I will be seeing any of you guys around or soon but, I do I get the chance to. After all, I don’t want to have to live by my oh-so-vivid imagination+memories. That would definitely suck—BIG TIME. Well then, thank you once again and uh, goodbye ;)

Mine,

Jer Cherng

I harbour all the old affection, roses of the past.

2010-02-20T04:39:00.000-08:00

let me elaborate a little bit =A=
waited for jackdylanjercherng to arrive at 12.30 as discussed, but got a text from jercherng that they were reaching at about 2. mom got a lil pissed over that. she likes punctual people. O:
so practiced my exam pieces and a few random songs before they came. was feeling a little nervous cause the last time i had a guy in my house was like, 3 years ago. .____." so yeah, i had rampaging rhinos in my stomach.
owhkay. it was AWKWARD. didn't know what to say, and wanting to say something.
sorry guys, i wasn't a good hostess, was i? D:
it's like, i look at you, you look at me, *silence* =w="

hmm.
i had mr.boog with me to make me less nervous. hugged him till the cotton felt like it bunched up at some places. sorry mr.boog. D:

uhh, somehow, i feel kinda lazy to elaborate about what happened in between, so i'm skipping that part altogether. you can read a little more about that in the post below.
uhh.
they came, and stayed for one hour, and went.

which leads to now.
i regret a little that i wasn't the best hostess, but i did TRY to be one. and not to mention, failed miserably. ._."

till then,
adiós :)

2010-02-20T03:56:00.001-08:00

It's time I faced some of the obvious-er facts in my life.

1. I'm running away from everything.

2. I don't know what I want.

3. I have no way of getting them(cz I don't know them @.@).

4. My past is not haunting me. I'm haunting them!

5. My life's a maze and I'm spazzin' out.

6. I just changed schools and I'm still the "New Kid". What?!?!

7. Oh and you know what?! I don't need nobody to point out nuthin' from the wrongs of my life cz I am so damned smart that I can figure everything out!!!

8. That does not mean I don't need proper guidance from experienced people. Does not mean I don't need friends to help me through.

9. Some of these facts just will never change. Trust me.

Okay I think that sort of puts a lot about what's going through my mind. Do you know, the harder you think, the more blood has to be pumped to your brain? Contrasting that, blood supplied all over your body will be lessened by a lot. This means, DON'T THINK when you are playing some SPORT. Cz that's what I did and I got beat up by some "kid" (no offence Jack. That's just how you look like xD).

Okay. So I've been like, laying out facts fo myself the whole night. It' VERY tiring to be thinking and avoiding and playing and scoring and defending the court all at the same time. I assume some of you should think that it is tiring reading that phrase already. As well! I did a lot of thinking through that game which meant I had a lot less blood than other people had when playing ball. Hmm......! Advice : Don't think when you Sport.

Okay. What happened today? I went to Sheann's house. To tell you d truth(sheann), I'm going to have bad muscle cramps and nightmares tonight. Well, nightmares part, that ain't too much of a bugger. Thing is, it was awkwardly silent at your house. If I recall, we were like, saying 'a' something every 10 minutes or so. Which more to the point, I don't think we'll ever get use to that :S I'll just have to Dale Carnegie myself more often @.@ Get it? Dale Carnegie. Well you wanna know who he is? H's the world's leading public speaking + human relations er.... Researcher? I don't know really, probably he's a theorist. Oh and by the way, I really do think that I am way smarter than a lot of people in and out of town because I can evaluate myself. I just need proper guidance to carry out evaluation sequence appropriately :)

So anyway, yes we did go to Sheann's house. Then we DID super awkward silent moments in the living room. Her brother as well, was sitting there in the dining table. And god @#$%ing lord, I can't believe why I let Dylan tag along. Dylan, if you're reading this, read it twice and get over it. Period. Hate me if you want for all I 'care'.

So well, I was saying, a lot of these Dale Carnegie thing are going to help me breakthrough my "nervous"-thing. I do hope so. At least, the next time I go over I won't be so much of a SHAM. Then comes the nightmares, ah... yes the night mare.... It was quite nervouse-ly scary at that place if you know what I mean. Right now, when I see it, I can only picture vivid images running through my mind in frames. Especially that 50fps of her hugging on so tightly to her pup @.@ oh that was disastrous. Then when I left, yeah I was giving her d D8 face cz I was er spazzin' out so bad already. :(

Anyway, look on d bright side!! I can't believe I did this. It will be the finest breakthrough of er... Nerves in my life. Especially since this was the first time I've been into sum other gals house (aside my 5 yr pet sis and 10 yr 2 best 'gal' frenz) :) I must say I pretty admire myself right now xD Maybe you should too :P But to say as well, we were like three geek-a-teers in on the couch leaning towards insanity into the realm of "Oh my God I don't know what to say!!!" all I can really say is, well, do better next time ;) Me Jack Dylan. Well, let's get over this someday. Or maybe never so it'd be our best memories wit lil' white princess.

*Btw, I haven't tasted your blood. Maybe some othat time xD*

Well, it was fun today. Putting Sheann's house aside, I did go to some other friend's houses. And also, I got to feel what the greed rush is like. I lost at 60++ Ringgit :( well cous's, translation : 20 US$. :) that's a big bitch in life :/ I promise never to go on instincts anymore!

Anyhow, there will be things I wanna learn ;) Of them are :

1. Gymnastics

2. Violin

3. Yoga

All these to let me have a more balanced (stable like) lifestyle! :D Thanks for reading this really bombarded post. And uh, for those of you I have NOT wish :

Happy C N Y

Happy Valentine's day ;)

Sincerely,

Jer cherng

blablabla. :)

2010-02-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

candid shot by brother at the hotel during our visit to ipoh on CNY.

most of the holidays used up for chinese new year TAT
now tons of homework piled up, and i've barely started studying.
gotta crack those books soon.
imsofreakingdead.

nothing much to say, just felt like blogging.

ciao.

nanananaaaa :)

2010-02-18T04:48:00.001-08:00

nananana :D
a picha of what i gave to everyone for Valentines and CNY as stated in the post below.
stole this picha from Dylan Lim, hope he doesn't mind >D

Valentines.

2010-02-12T03:45:00.000-08:00

im back. >D
the owner of this blog wants me to post something or he'll kacau me everyday.

uhh.
i'm super tired nao.
didn't sleep well last night. kept worrying bout the Valentine prezzies. what if something goes wrong? TAT

anyway, gave to shinrong, dylan, jack, xsaye, stephen and ann. :)

hm. haven't give synnjye her prezzie yet cause i don't get to see her until after CNY D:

anyways, hope everyone like their prezzie. :3
and and ! thanks to those who gave me prezzies as well.
i really appreciate it. :)

p.s. what about White Day?

Maybe an emo post.

2010-02-06T09:27:00.000-08:00

The reason for the title is pretty simple. It is what it say it is-an emo post.

It's 1:28am and I've just hugged my mom before going to bed. It was a 10 minutes stretch and during that last 7 minutes, a lot of thoughts rushed through my mind. Some of it, memories, some the present and many else left, the future.

I guess it's pretty much alright for people to die and the people relatively close to them, shed tears and move on pretty later on. It's concerningly disastrous, having many 20 people to cry at the same time. Imagine if it were the reverend or the chief monk, devoted Buddhists(I am one) of the whole world will cry(except I didn't) at the same time. It's no joke. It happened a few years ago and it was like an economy crisis. However, also like the economy crisis, those who aren't very much involved would not feel the loss. Probably a little bit of "Oh my, I am so sorry to hear that" but never a "Oh my god!!!! I can't believe it! Is it true???? Oh my... I feel like... *(TTATT) my whole world is collapsing. SHIT. I can't BREATHE!!!" so you get the idea. Yes.

Now, many people come and go at some point of time. Mine hasn't come and I have not been. So here I am sharing some of my thoughts with the people who reads my Blog. Thing is, this post is about that one person I love most in my life--my mom. It's very hypocritical because, I remember when I was in standard 4, I was becoming rebellious to a lot of things, including my mom. At standard 6(year 8) I scolded her "crazy bitch" and told her to stay out of my businesses. At grade 9, starting high school, I was very involved in extra-bad-curricular-out-of-school activities. Going to the cybercafe nearly every day, having consistent routines on Fridays and of course, to FINANCE my spendings, it also meant stealing some money from my mom's purse. Seeing that picture of me, I would have been more or less a net/game addict. I don't see any reason anyone shouldn't agree to that. Every time I go out that door step headed for the cafe was a lie to live with. Now, images of me lying to my mom, can only make me cry harder regretting those little false statements I have made. Reflecting on how much a failure I have been and how much I have hurt her, I simply can't express that rush of emotion going through me now.

At year 10, My cybercafe activities plummeted. The hot-headed will for me to study slowly emerged. Like the Nazi's who rose and gave up later, my mom guided me through and through with my text books, helping me get an 'A' in my semester exams. Somehow, rather dissapointingly, my incompetent will had no match for my processing power. There was simply no will to keep myself going and not stopping at almost anything at all, even if I could have knew my mom will always be there to catch me if I fell. Back then, I never had realized how important my mom is to me. I never realized that, she has always been there for me. Annoyingly naive, I even adopted some weirdo to be my foster ''mom'' because she treated me better, in a way as a friend. Looking back, I cannot comprehend why I would have been so silly to do such a thing when all the best of the world has always been beside me.

At form 3, I don't remember much details at it. I can only remember when mom told me that we are going to USA, I thought it was a plainly laid out lie. Something else to convince me to study. It wasn't, especially not since it happened. Plainly put, "Been there, Done that". During my stay there, I kept thinking that mom had loved my little brother more than she had loved anyone. Why have I thought so, is because that I did some "math" in this matter. I looked at it this way:

1. I was born in 1993. My mother loved me a lot

2. Not until 1995, my mother gave birth to my sister.

3. Because of "2.", my mother now loved my sister only.

4. Therefore, 1995-1993, my mother only loved me for 2 years.

5. At 1998, she gave birth to my younger brother.

6. Not only did she loved me only for 2 years, she now has divided the love that she could have given me from half, to one third. O_O

LOL. So see that image. However, I was wrong. In fact, my mother had always loved me. Loved me for SIXTEEN LONG YEARS and still counting. In fact, now that I have realized, she always put me at #1. Because I was her first child and because as well, she has never put anyone before me. NEVER.

I remember also, when I was in standard 1 to 3, my mom had always came to my school to bring packed food from outside for me to eat. At that time of course, having a girlfriend already made me really embarrassed. More overly, I was the guy with nearly the most friends in my league. I was egoistic, I was a BIG boy. And many times, I tried to reject my moms offer. Why? Because she spoon fed me. Yes. That was how much she loved me. She even drove from her workplace over to my school(a little isolated haven in the midst of nowhere) just to get a little nagging from this child king and then being left to clean up his mess after his meal. After doing so, she would have to go back to her workplace and get another serious scolding from her boss. It wasn't a very nice life to live. I don't think anyone should be treated to live like that, because I won't like it at all. However, she had her reasons to go on. Her reason was me. For she loved me with her life and has never thought of giving up on that ideal.

I can hear her voice ringing in my head now saying what she's told me several times before, "chen, do you know, when I conceived you, I promised myself that I would make you the world's smartest baby. I always thought of how you will look like, will the society accept you for how you look like, because I was always so afraid, what if you turned out to become a deformed baby? No matter what happened then, I was always looking for methods to improve your life even if you weren't born yet. Anything anyone told me was good, I went for it and tried, because I knew that this was my first child and I will love him with all my heart. I couldn't have loved anyone just as much." If I had heard this all over again from her, I know I would cry because I am already crying at this.

Recently, she's said a lot of things that she's observed from my life. She's been on my lookout ever since I was conceived (as I mentioned) and she will remember every detail with great memory. It's merely impossible to try and imagine how vivid her memories of me could have been. I must say, seeing me grow up to this stage has been a painful experience for her. At times, maybe a wonderful one. Looking at my recent activity in Gavel's, TQ and PIBG, I hope that she will be proud of me as so much of an inch will do. I know too well, however, that I needn't have to hope at all. Being the one more precious thing in her life, she would be there to support me no matter what I did. If I succeeded, she would be the first person to congratulate me and most definitely, be infinite proud.

Today, I am in form 5. I remember during that last year when she told me one of her friends said I was using her to change schools to Seafield. I personally think that it is a very horrid thing to say but of course, I don't see fault in the statement. Frankly, to change schools, there are many procedures to go through and as well as this may be, I did not handle these procedures and have left my mom to it. That would have been unfair for me to do so. Moving from that, I have been very avid in coffee which leads to Starbucks and have been there a lot for their "Caramel Macchiato"(btw, don't go for it there cz coffee bean's better :]). This caused a lot of problems for her because it led her to do a lot of explaining to my dad. In truth, she didn't actually. Because it was putting her in a very bad situation. She had no reason other that because she loved me and would sacrifice anything for me. Believe me, no matter how troublesome it may be, as long as I kept a word or two on pestering her for it(Caramel Macchiato), she will buy it for me.

Straying from the topic, I would like to move on to the what really is the point of writing this.

I was thinking, when all the world who could've loved me at all was my mom, who could love me more? I don't suppose the answer is going to be some pretty girl next door that I found on my way to school. If anything or anyone at all that would meant the world to me was my mom, where do the rest of the world stand? Do I need them? That brings me another question. Tonight, I hugged my mom. Tomorrow, where will she be? Mom has always mentioned this to us, "if I died, what will happen to the family? You(me) and your brother will have the biggest problem of all because you cannot control yourselves(games and laziness)." It is very true. When I hugged her, I thought immediately that she was the one holding the family together. Without her, we will be nothing. We will shatter and break in family ties because of my ego. Today, my mom has minor health problems (so she thinks). I have time and again told her to see a doctor and she wouldn't. Why? Is it because she really thinks it's just a minor problem?

No.

She is worried that if she went away to the doctors and something bad really came up, what will she say?

If something bad really came up, who would take care of the family?

Dad needs her as his accountant.

We need her as our cook.

The house needs her to be kept tidy.

Her newspapers needs to be read.

Most importantly, her family needs her.

Do you see how much she is sacrificing for me? For the whole lot of my family and I? I am not implying that my mom is the greatest mom of them all. If you had a better one, good. So live with her and appreciate her more. But it is more important for those of you who don't know yet just how much your mother actually means to you, you better think hard and fast. At this rate of global warming and the forth coming of 2012 (however true I don't know), you better appreciate her fast. Some of my friend's moms had already passed away. It is painful for them because they loved her very much and many a times, we all will have wish time could be stopped. Stopped so that we can finish everything we must do. Stopped so that we can appreciate everyone we need to. Stopped, for me, to just hug my mom that much another moment.

The life of every being has to end. Take a moment or two from what you are doing everyday, to appreciate the people around you. Start with the closest and widen your range. You will see what life holds for everyone and not just you.

It's me,

Jc.

Wow. Pengetua Kami Hebat Sangat!!!

2010-02-05T01:29:00.000-08:00

First off. Don't you agree too? I'm guessing she would. So I'm not going to disclose any names here. But it's kinda hard. Can I just voice out my opinions? Maybe they make sense. A great deal as well.

So look. We know she's sly. Maybe she is. I don't know. But that really is true, then think about it this way. Her 'slyness' is the thing that got Seafield to what it is today--its reputation as the top public school in Subang Jaya. It beat SMK USJ 12 flat. THe security is good. The students are like retards not exposed to the real world, where people fight and burn for real. I know cz I've been to shithole. Sorry 13s. But it just is. Read on and you might find out why.

Look. I am COMPARING two schools with a BIG difference in every sort of way you can imagine. And the biggest? Robiah and Pn Teh. If our 'local delight' had been 1% as good as this

'Earl Gray' in Seafield would have been, I'd bet that SMK USJ13 would've been a much more delightful place for students to be looking forward to.

Being too lazy to think and strive for her 100% students pass SPM goal and has knowledge only of pushing students around. I mean, come on! We can't have Night/Evening events because of your improminent capabilities to mendidikkan all that kukujiao gangsters to behave themselves at events, dress properly and suck dick. Reminds 13s of anything? Scouts and Interact Night 2009. Lol. Hell yeah it was a BLAST. One in the face and one to the neighbourhood? That should do justice to my statement.

Now that I have your attention, listen to me. No formal event should be held under excess UV-Ray and Carbon environment. It should be held in a cool, classy place. If you are trying to promote the school, well, you are doing quite a good job. Promoting it to where it should be. Standing out in shithole. You are just lucky you have 5A and 5B. I promise you, the school will FALL. Sink into oblivion. I'm just waiting. So are you!

Okay. So listen to me again as I begin the real story.

__________________________________________________

Thing is, the petition didn't really work out. I was forewarned not to post this, but what else should I post about? So just let me go on. Do not hate me. I will do justice. We were all against the 11th period and the must for taking EST. Because we had no initiative, someone else took it for us. The happy tree friends, were just trying to help as a representative.

Shut your eyes and ask your balls before you blame someone else. Signing the petition. Who's impulse was it? Was it the askers impulse or yours? Did they force you? If you won't admit it to the people around you, take a look below. At least to them you may. If not, we may as well conclude that your BALLS were never there. We all could've made a choice whether to support it or not, and many of us decided to. I will admit it was my impulse to do the same. Will you admit it?

As well as to this matter, the fact that the headmistress did NOT clarify well enough the available 12 subjects to be taking now is open to any subject at all. Yes. Her fault is clear. If she DID state it clearly, the petition wouldn't have came up to "Protest All Students Must Take EST, Whether You Like It Or NOT!" We could've came up with a better solution to discuss and negotiate with her instead. But of course, in the end, there would still be the 11th period problem. Nobody likes being kept stayed back for reasons we shouldn't have to comprehend with. E.g.? If I'm not going to take the goddamned subjects, why go for it's clasSES? True. We don't need that much more pressure.

Many of us who were in the hall will have to think that she's that old sly manipulative fox. Listen to another way of thinking. 10+2(Language), she didn't force us to take EST 'cause she knew we'd want to take up other subjects e.g. Bible Knowledge, Accounts, Arts and etc. Because of this, we had 10 periods only. Going back home at 1:10PM was another blast for us. We liked it. That LIFE was good. Who wouldn't have wanted it? I could go back to 13 choir, coach, come back to school (on Mondays), and joined career club. During so, I could've already seen all the friends I will miss and that girl I am so crazed out about. Life IS awesome that way.

Why? Because the limit for everyone in Malaysia was to COMPETITIVELY take TEN subjects to be able to STANDOUT in scholarship applications. YOU! PLEASE READ THIS.

However, no. Our lil' SCREWED IN EDU ADMIN, has set new COCKED rules for 12 OPEN subjects (including 6Teras). 'Tea' didn't clarify well enough. But she knew it'd be a trouble for all of US (students), if we only had 9 subjects and the competitive scholarship apps were at the min/max basis of 12. We can't ever get our hands on such a crowded 'cheesecake'. Even if we did, how would it taste?

The government was fucking us up. Fucking 'tea leaf' up along with her board teachers. Look, whatever-the-fuck-your-name-is Edu minister, make YOUR fucking mind up and go have some Gloryhole to eat with Ahn-nWhar. Children, having a clan war in school is NOT fun. Teachers and Students can't cooperate, even the best schools will falter into shady leaves, those that fall off lil' oak tress. Even more, a fight over inclarity cause of the government? I won't side anyone if this happens. 'Cauze it's so much easier to just ram a nuke down the Admin Center. I should think of it as everyone's lil' happily ever after.

I know. This looks really cool x)

Keep in mind. I'm trying to get things justified. Look at the example I gave before this story. If a 'sly fox' can help us get out of 'poverty' (go read The Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl), and WE ARE THE ONES BENEFITING, what's the harm in that? So be it. Call it dumb or whatever you want it boy, but that's what the 'sly fox' is really doing. And probably due to ageing problems, she's done serious damage to your reputation and if I may say as well, as you both have been critique(ed). Agree with me, read it again. Reflect only on ourselves. Know this. The government CANNOT take control of our community and what we have. We can spare them our little change(coins eg. tax), but NEVER give them our HOME.

Sincerely,

Jc.

Look. I'm just doing what I have to.

2010-02-01T11:46:00.001-08:00

Ugh. Today was rather hectic. I don't know anyway better to describe the rush in me. I am glad however that I have completed and handed in my proposal letter for one of my recent projects. Woot! FTW! It should start soon and also be executed anytime now. The first official date for us to work is on the 12th of February. Well then, I can't stop looking forward to it. I have already put in TOOO much unnecessary effort to it.

Yeah!! Today I got to go back to USJ 13 to talk to Xsaye about the blog poll. Apparently when she got home and talked further about it with me, she said she was lazy to edit the HTML and stuff. Gosh, I think I really need to start. Immediately! Wow... So many things to learn in life. Anyway! I made it back to USJ 13 and I saw someone! haha. She was sitting there like a little shy angel. So timid! And not to forget to mention cute. Oh oh, I was also privileged enough to actually be there for their choir practice. Guess what? The song that they were singing was so SHRILL that I actually felt my heart being cut up my aorta and my pulmonary artery. It wasn't at all pleasing. Gee... And then, I was quite sure that I saw/heard Xsaye sang and let me tell you this, her voice is EXTRAOR! >D lol and she was practically the one that put the chill on my spine. Cool huh?? Someone with NO formal singing practice can actually do SO WELL! haha. Xsaye FTW!

Anyway, I'm already starting to write another prop letter but this one for my mentor to see if it's going to work out. Hope it does! I want this to work. I am here to commit, win and lead. This is my place and I damned well deserve it. There's no such thing as sharing is caring in my world. Sharing is very much losing. Never gaining (other than the sharing of merits xD). Ah well, I'll go back to my doc now. It's 3:55AM sharp. Hopefully Sheann will read this later when comes back from school!

Ja Ne!

Jc.

Yeah!

2010-01-30T11:18:00.001-08:00

(7:50PM)

Closed a deal today! Wow. I am so happy. I have found my 20 percenter. I am trying so hard now not to imagine the flow of $$ that will come soon enough. All signed up and paid. That's really cool. Somehow, I feel like I should hangout with people like him more often. I will get a taste of life, hows it really like and the works of money.

That's all for now. Check out the bottom post >D

CHA-CHING! & :DDD

2010-01-30T03:44:00.001-08:00

(9:58PM--30/1/2010)

I have just finished putting on the first layer on paint on my wall and I'm getting the feeling that this will be soooooo cool! It's purple. Sorta. I forgot wad was the name of d paint actually. Hmm >D (this emoticon I learnt from SHEANN!!!) well I have uploaded some pictures on this post. Tell me what you guys think okay? Although, I don't know if anyone actually reads my blog :D

Blogging part, hmmm..... I have promised my blog partner that I will learn HTML so that it won't be booring :D Xsaye's blog is out of this world. I want a layout like that! So I'll pick up that HTML book of mine that's long dead in my shelf and start! So hey, wish me good luck ;D

Well, I guess that's all. Also, I made a new friend from Canada. I don't know if that counts, lol. It's up to him :D Interesting fact : He's DJ and works with SonyEAC alright. End of post! Night :D

Jc.

Pics

Just d start of the painting. I already have part of the walls done before I documented :D

Cleaning up d mess under the bed. Mom's holding up a "Everything is Possible" mini-poster that I bought at the Lawrence Walter Ng talk when I was 11. It didn't really help much ( the talk ) xD

Putting the left drawer in. I don't know why I need it at all. I can't use it.

Laying the bedframe down. I got stuck here! I then had to move the bed back to where it was before putting it placing it down again.

As you can see, it's been moved! Now it fits just fine. A lil' more adjustments :D

Done. Well. That's the end of the first half of my project! It's gonna be awesome once it's completed.

A stupid dream. :O

2010-01-29T21:57:00.000-08:00

Helloooooo. :)

Woke up at around 4 something today. That made me the earliest to wake up in my house. Ugh. Stupid nightmare. I couldn't fall asleep again. :(

Wanna hear the story? You're welcomed to click the lil' cute "X" button at the top right hand side corner if you don't wanna read it. :)

So i'm gonna keep it real simple for ya. :x

The dream started with my mother receiving a call from my dad. After the call, she turned towards me with a strange expression on her face. I couldn't decide whether it was an expression of sadness or pity. Either way, that expression shocked me and I suddenly felt really worried.

"The doctor informed daddy that you have only a few months more to live."

And then someone hit the "fast forward" button and suddenly, I had only a few more hours to live. (What happened to the time in between?!)

I remember trying to find everyone I knew and loved, to tell them I love them. I remember going on the computer (wth?) to find them. But somehow everyone was offline. LOL. I remember feeling the increasing desperation in my heart to find everyone.

I remember trying to write letters to everyone. I remember panicking because I didn't have enough time to do so because I was going to die at exactly 12.00a.m. (LOL again) I remember thinking that it's too early, that I didn't spend enough time with everyone yet. I remember thinking "I want to live, I want to live, I want to live. Give me more time, please? I haven't even told everyone how much I loved them yet. I still want to spend time with everyone." TIME was the key. I remember asking my mom whether this was all just a prank. I still wanted to HOPE. But I couldn't deny the fact that my time was over soon. The dream was so vivid, so real. I could FEEL so many emotions that I thought my heart would burst.

Then it was time for me to lie down, to rest. I closed my eyes at welcomed the blackness.

At the same time, I woke up. Then, the tears started to fall.
Tears of relieve, tears of happiness, tears of joy. I still had time!
The dream was so REAL. (Although there were a few strange things that didn't occur to me in the dream and some gaps. It was a dream after all.)

I know this dream sounds really immature and stupid, but it felt so real. As if God was giving me a chance to realize how much I didn't appreciate life.

From now on, I promise myself that I'd cherish every moment with everyone.

.
.
.

Okay okay ! I know I'm stupid. TT

After bawling my eyes out, it was already around 5.30. So i went to wash up. No one was awake yet, so I took a plate of cookies upstairs -i was starving- and went online.

After breakfast, went to pyramid with mom. Bought a new year dress. Like, finallyyyyy. :D
Thanks mom. *hugs*
When I was trying the dress on, a woman whose daughter was in the next room poked her nose in and gave lots of comments on the dress.
I suspected that she wanted to buy it for her daughter but sadly for her, it's the last one in stock. LOL. Plus the dress was way too big for her daughter. And and ! When we were at the counter paying for the dress, she kept staring at the dress in my hands. =w=
*laughs silently*

I know I'm very bad. =A=

Hm btw, anyone wanna go shopping with me? I need advice. My fashion taste sucks. TAT

That's all for now. >D

p.s. excuse my broken english please and thankyou >D

I want to fall for you,
but what if you aren't there to catch me?
I'm just too much of a coward.
x.

I FORGOT MY TITLE!

2010-01-29T01:52:00.000-08:00

I have a new definition for 'love' and 'romance'. It's pretty simple. Get it straight. Love is not unexplained. It's romance that cannot be explained. There's a pretty vast difference from loving someone and have a romantic affair with someone, stupid.

My previous post was not hacked. I.. erm well yeah it was. But it's quite obvious that ain't me cz I don't write like that :D anyhow, I think I should thank her for helping me update cz I've run outta ideas!

Ideas are so hard to stumble upon. Maybe on my next post I'll post some pictures to talk the walk! Haha ! I should really bring my DC to school >D I think that my school life's just started to get exciting. Hmm. Maybe. Who knows? :D Time will tell :)

Choir(Seafield) was awesome today. Everyone finally had their parts sang right. There's a fair reason to why I think that it's awesome. That's because during that last meeting on the 22nd, No one could get their notes nor pitch. Today, however, the notes and pitches was right. What's the best part is that we actually completed our practice for the song earlier than the Sops! Yeah! Great right? Imagine, a bunch of guys learning a wee bit quicker than the gals :D anyhow. Our tempo was fluent. It flowed well. The Sops were screwing up alot today! Wow. I didn't expect that to happen at all! But I myself was a bit(too much) out of the tempo :/

I did today, screw a lot of things up myself. First by eating the lollipop during practice and being scolded right after by Mr.Ng cz He caught me! I felt so fucked up and idiotic. Who in the world stuffs some lolli in their mouth while they sing? Well, I know for sure it will not happen, not ever, again because I will make sure that it doesn't.

Anyhow, I managed to get into Team A for the MSSD Competition! YAY! I was overwhelmed when I found out. Well, yeah. Wow. :)

Ah yes, I made a new friend at school. Too bad I don't have my 白痴妹 to talk with anymore :/ I know how much she misses me now! She insisted that I go for her birthday party too. Or else, she's lock me up with 13's ugliest girl in da same cage. Which, well, won't be very pleasant.... =__=*

And, for the other 'friends' that I have made, well, I'm sorry there's only A new friend. Understand this. I DON'T ACCEPT PEOPLE AS FRIENDS JUST AS EASILY. So well, whether you want us to be friends, it's up to you. :)

Jer.

hacker >D

2010-01-28T01:51:00.000-08:00

hello !
guess who? >D
i'm not the stupid seaweed a.k.a jer cherng.
he's the one who wanted me to help him blog.

uhhhhm. where should i start?
introduction?
nyehhh. i'm too lazy for that.
UNLESS requested.
:D

seriously, i can't blog about anything here. it's not MINE blog.
not to mention the stupid seaweed changed school so i don't know much bout his life.

huh.
well, that's all.
satisfied, seaweed?

*realizes that this is a super short post compared to his posts*

.. oTL

.. Tomorrow. Will it come?

2010-01-26T06:23:00.000-08:00

Will she be there tomorrow when dawn rises from the dark. I cry in my heart to tell myself that I should've slept 3 hours earlier. I had hugged her already and I betrayed myself once again betraying her at the same time. Mom must've been the most precious thing in my life because without her, I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't have been who I am.

If I slept three hours later, I knew, I would have that warmth in my face to hug. With that, I knew I could've easily slept instead of grumbling on how much time I've wasted on that computer. Core 2 Duo to Core 1 Single. So what? Who gives a f***?! Ugh.

Today I realized something. The fact that I have never imagined anything about me after my twenties, is not cz I was gonna die. Never had a dream bout it, also not cz I would die at that age. But then, it may have been that someone very important to me might no longer be here to see me succeed. That really did it. I couldn't think straight for a single moment.

I'm being distracted very much. So I guess this ends the post. My little fucked up brother is doing all that fucked up complaining. To hell and fro to him.

Ah!! @.@

2010-01-15T08:37:00.000-08:00

So, it's finally come to this. It's mid Jan and I'm already dying. Suffocating from the lack of oxygen in my slumber and the need to decrease my CarboDiod level during class. Yes. I am trying my very hardest to stay awake in every aspect, time and place for now. But it is just not going so well--or maybe it just does not want to. Notice this, I am typing all that little detail that should not matter and should not appear in some of those sentences. But please, do not bother.

Good. So now we move on.

Pn Doris

My English teacher is awesome. I'll be kindly frank with my ideas about her so please, if it displeases you, do just ignore and bear with it. Pn Doris. I think it's just amazing how every English lesson I have in school I get stuck with and Indian teacher. I do so remember the time when there was this really BFB in 13 whom had made so many false accusations over me. I on other hand, would have felt so proud about it. Why? Because I thought she was jealous of my English writing. Now if I should brag, and it will discomfort you, do feel free to challenge me on my writing skills okay? ;) After all, it's only fair for you to complain and me to learn! Well then back to some points, I don't always get stuck with Indian teachers. E.g. Pn Choong Grade 1-7 and Pn Muriza Grade 9. Back to Pn Doris. I think she's cranky awesome in her well-hid-dragon mask. Her way of teaching is just plain exciting and jokeful. However, he abilities render unknown to me during this time. There's a fair evidence to it. She did not in simple terms explain the meaning of tactful in class, unlike my previous English teacher, Miss Patricia. I will swear on mother mary that Miss Pat is in better average for now. Then again, this may be her way of teaching, so as to leave an irremovable memory of the word tactful in her students. If so, it might just turn out to work very well in time.

Mr Gan

Physics teacher and your personal in-class lullaby. Less less less exciting. A man who doesn't seem to carry any sort of pride or say spirit to his job. Well I did mention the word seem. Maybe he does but he doesn't project it. It's surely boring during times of his class. Today, we had a lesson on further in depth of waves. It was so coincidental that, when he was explaining natural frequency (an object with a constant natural frequency oscillating, will tranduce waves with an energy at such, another nearby object with the same natural frequency may receive this amount of energy and convert it into it's own kinetic movement) my classmate Josh, fell asleep. Soon, while he rambled on with utter waste of incomprehensible phrases, I then fell asleep. Great. I was sitting right in front of Josh and here I am, having a nap during one of the most important classes. So the topic continued another while and Josh woke. And so, the joke started. With him, RESONATING 'sleep waves' to me and me (later it happened) RESONATING 'sleep waves' back. Okay, you get my point, he's boring.

Pn Shantha

Amazing fussy old lady. She know's her stuff around Biology. Chapter one, I was amazed by how lack of knowledge I was--text book knowledge. It had never occurred to me any teacher would be so responsible. I would give 9/10 for this teacher. -1 because nobody's perfect. xD So we move on of course. She filled us with knowledge of what ever the consituents of Erythrocytes were, what were the constituents within those constituents and then knowledge about the cockroach, it's scientific name Periplanata Americana. Not very hard to remember if you know what it means--which of course she did not explain. And also why green yucky mucus spills out of it when we squash them. Then, we moved over to teacher-parent conflicts, where the students usually complain that the teachers bore them when they don't do well in exams. All in all, I did not ever realise this until she mentioned it, where, teachers will also get bored if their students are not responsible or hard working. Well, I can only say this, life's a b***h. Concluding this, I think she's helluva wonder and also helluva devil (cz she's strict -.lll).

Googoogah... I'm tired -.lll

Pn. Saripah

Math teacher. She's quick, she's fast, she's lightning but not steady. I can't really tell, since her 'poker' face never changes. That thick eyebrow of her, always raised on the right eye. Teaching me number bases was tough. Good god, I didn't understand it in the first class because I was certain I missed something in the beginning (as I entered the classroom late), therefore i had to make a reset several times before I understood. at the 3rd lesson, it finally hit me. Oh, what a wonder. My brain was at ease. I was in comfort and I understood. Everything after it came to me facile. It was effortless I understood and I taught. Game Over. Chapter One was within my strong grasp. So then, we have to stick to the point. Pn Saripah was also coincidently my class teacher. But more overly, I had 'never' doubted her teaching us Math. I knew it wouldn't be a problem. Well, not for now. x)

Pn. Ho

The first thing that hit everyone else's mind was "Ho ho ho, merry Christmas", which was really lame to me because it just won't work. She's that fair Chinese lady with short hair and a fair Asian female height. Her, being Chinese, made her teachings more acceptable to me. Of course, you might think I'm just an asshole being some racist, but I'm not. All my High School life, I have been getting Malay teachers to teach me Math. They have failed one way or the other and have not only failed but failed deliberately. As to my Grade 11 Math subject teacher, she is described by me as "that short little thing with brains that can process additional math information, making her so proud bearing a smirk on her unusually tiny façade, only wide enough to cover her facial dentures," don't you think it was described in a very rightful manner? I am not in place to give suggestions on how well she teaches because I slept through my lessons last year xP. However, I do know that I will be able to give my one-ten during her lessons which is a very good thing.

Pn Tay

Chemistry teacher. Not beyond my expectations. I will definitely prefer my previous teacher Pn Teh, because she's a notch better. But I know very well that this teacher is Giving all she has left to save till 2012. I am very glad she's doing so because it will not only give me the initiative to study harder but everyone else as well (I hope). Chemistry is not a very tough subject. Also, I learnt from this school that, when entering the lab for an experiment, everyone should have a SHORT-SLEEVED lab coat. How stupid can we be? Short-sleeved? It's useless and pointless. Moreover, it's 20 bucks worth of China-made-out-proportioned-sewing-on-cheap-cloth. Yeah. I guess that pushes my point strong. Anyway, other than her efforts, I know too that she's quite academical in her teachings... As in, she's her points are stuck on the text book. However, she did inform us that our efforts and the knowledge acquired from the text book only will not be sufficient. Wisdom from reference books are very important in these cases. Of course, she then suggested what reference book we should get, of which I already own, the 'Success Chemistry' referral. She also moves very quickly. Just the second week now and we already have completed 2 experiments and that's a pace quicker than my previous chem teacher.

Pn Ung

GREAT F****** LORD THIS IS SOME FANTASTIDUBICALLYAWESOMEWONDERFUL shit. Head Discipline Teacher (School Dean) is our Civics teacher. And you know what that means?!?!?!?!? When she's in my class, all my liquid paper will be silenced by her. Great huh? I even have 4 of them in my pen+pencil box everyday. Jeez, this could just turn into my worst nightmare. Also, she's the advisor teacher for the Buddhist society. The reasons are pretty frank and simple. It's because she's teaching in my Buddhist temple every Sunday. Theses Sundays are when we have classes for devotees to join--mainly children, but that's not important. She claims now that, she no longer goes to the cinema to catch her favourite movie's. It seems that she has a theatrical room to watch all that Blu-Ray DVD with Dolby surround on a really comfortable sofa. Wow. How I wish I'd had one of those. So today was class one with her since she was on leave last week. She came in telling us that to be able to concentrate on teaching in class and ending it quirky quick, we had to be responsible for our ownselves, to bring the books and to keep our appearances and attitude tight to the rules and regulations of the school. It was a simple request. Any 17 year old could do that and so we abided to her applied fatwa. Also, she talked about school patriotism. Which was great to an extend where she starts showing the class where all my book was bought in Popular and did not have a school badge. That, is not patriotic, to the school. So she claims. I didn't want to start a debate and so I thought maybe impressing the teacher would be great. Having thought that, I went to the book store during recess and bought myself a 'Patriotic' notebook and went over to the 'Koperasi' store and go a badge, just so to sew it on the book. Well, there is a saying which goes by, "Actions speak louder than words" I hope these actions will free me from her putting a deadly 'X' on my back.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is appropriate that I stop here now... This post has been ultimately long and not very tactful. My flooding points have just dried off. Evaporated from the surface into the air. I cannot breathe and now I must help decrease the humidity of the air. As I must now, I hope this post give all of you, my friends, a brief detail of what I think about the school. If I have missed out any teacher, I shall put them in place when I'm not so lazy and more tactful. Until then, I thank all you readers for well, reading this, of course.

Jc. ----Submitted!

Memories. The new, and the old. Oh yea, And the randoms xD

2009-12-10T07:50:00.000-08:00

It doesn't take much for the past to register itself into the deepest parts of our memories. But in contra, it's silly, how impossible it can be for one to wash away the past from even the most shallow parts of their mind. Because of how easily, the way the past installs itself into our very own minds, it has become the factors and the cause for the habits. Good habits, most definitely bring to us a more, a brighter, healthier life. But the bad ones, hah. We'd all be surprised of the coming effects. The now may not seem to be able to any more serious than it can possible sucer life out of us. But the ever changing universe shall change all that hope and make tomorrow history.

Of course, these, are not the important points of this... post.. More importantly, is that, what has this done, to me? As of course as well, this is my blog so it's about me ==. Thereinafter, I shall speak more and mostly of myself and I :D

Okay, first up, the question. (Oh yes, if you're going to find this boring, you may leave. Do so, I will not be offended. I don't know who did who didn't.)

If you expect someone to follow the path of your dreams, and trash away the dreams of that person, the efforts made to realise the dreams of that person, as if it were the simplest to abolish, as if it were nothing at all to think about--if not a dream of that "someone", and think that you should so lucidly comprehend with the very idiotic act of him/her. Would you even give consideration to the dreams of that person? At all?*1

I keep asking this question to myself. Well, you may expect that it might be someone really close to me now that I've mentioned. Yes, it is. But I won't mention who. But do so answer this question. And always keep in mind, that person, is very, very important in your life. That you will carry an eternity's bond with that person.

Moving on*2, mom just did a big favor that I asked her to do for me to improve my studying environments. Of course, I am very, very, grateful she'd done that for me, and I'll most definitely pay more attention to my studies. Unfortunately, the processes of this procedure might alter the outcome. So, I dare not discuss this in public. Mentioning this, I hope I'll be able to keep my promise a promise and make her proud!

Today, we, my friend and I, made a huge business factor slip through. More of that friend than me, made a serious slip and flipped all over. I think he might've scattered some of his balls. Sorry! Anyway, if "you" are reading this, I'm sorry. But I need a topic! >.<

Anyone could quite simply hint a note of condolence on "friend's" part. Yeah, it's a real pity. Though. But anyhow, I gotta move in towards some more recent activities.

My little bike project with Jack got cancelled due to "insufficient funds/more gold is required" that sux. But I can't do anything about it. The business plan however, has to go on. Hopefully "friend" will be able to help me sell the "product" to "Friend's" contacts despite the loss in so many ways. Now now, you might wanna ask what I'm selling. Well, you can look me up in facebook! I'd love to introduce you to this "product" of mine(Not really* ahem *).

The creativity that should yield in this post has started wandering again. So, I shall end this post now. No point writing something without blood in the ink. >.<

Really, just me.

jC.

*1(Assuming that person should be someone relatively important to the living factors of you today.)

*2(however, this topic is not so relevant, but I'd like to cram it all together.)

New post :-P

2009-11-28T20:21:00.003-08:00

Hey guys, I’m back by “popular” demand. xD Which of course, since the person who’s requesting the comeback of d great cryxpride(not!) is so damn popular, it makes the demand popular as well. Okay, now, what’s up with me here today? Well, for starters, I had 2 naps today. I played COD 6 : Modern Warfare 2 on my stupid laggy computer, which also, I managed to complete the sniper fi easy ops (yeah.. easy…). Okay, so then, this sort of thing wouldn’t be the first thing to drive anyone to read on. Boring! Period, that’s that, now, what’s there that’s not too boring revolving around me?

So, I read this book I bought last night. I was, quite the most appealing book I’ve read. It’s called “Who Moved My Cheese?” and for those of you whose haven’t had a chance to read it, you should get it. You might get it on amazon.com or ebay.com. For more information, go to www.whomovedmycheese.com ;) This book is, a self-help book filled with a really intriguing, interesting plot. It’s not that hard to read. But most importantly, it helps us adapt to the change around us. It has a saying which goes “Move with the Cheese!” In the book, this “Cheese” represents the ultimate goals we would ever want to achieve in our lives. It may take the form of your career, personal life, social life, relationship and so on. Even the simplest thing to help keep you disciplined may be achieved from whatever is taught here. Founder Dr Spencer Johnson had not have been able to spread his amazing idea without the help of his good friend Kenneth Blanchard, whom, is a strong believer of the “Cheese” ideology. Hence, kudos to them for introducing such a convenient method of healthy living to the world.
Okay, moving on to what I got today, I bought a pillow! And you know, the song, that sings “Send me a pillow, that you dream of” has been ringing in my head ever since! xD Quaint haha. Anyway, it’s eh, from Jean Perry. I don’t know if it’s branded or not. It cost 20 U$D so it should be worth a hell lot more than it’s name. And it’s 100% silk! Now that’s cool. Haha. I’m even hugging it as I type. Moving on, dad went on a golf trip on 18holes at heck-how-do-I-know-where-that-golf-course-is? Cz it’s none of my business. And he said he’d improved from a usual 110+ to 99 strokes. That’s real great. Well done dad! Then of course, there are sibling issues. But everyone has them. So I won’t voice it out here.

But then, there was this really hilarious thing that happened while I was shopping for the pillow. I sorta lightly slapped my sister’s face and she hit me back. Hard. On the face. It sorta broke my glasses for a bit but I managed to mend it. Anyhow, I’m not as pissed anymore. Also, I’ve wanted this thermos for myself. Gosh, wouldn’t it be nice if I could keep a Grande Caramel Macchiato and have some every morning before I depart, to my school? It’d be a hearty treat xP. So anyways, mumsey and dadsey wouldn’t buy me one. I think, I’ve gotta rake up a shitload of stash before I could afford one. It costs 30U$D each. OMFG. How am I gonna get so much money without bleeding sweat -.-… So, that’d have to wait for now. Anyhow, anyso, anywho, anywhere, anyhey, anywhatsoeveridon’tcare, I’d end this post here. For now.

If you guys every get bored, check out some of this songs. (Piano and orchestra)

Chopin Fantasie Impromptu Opus 66 in C sharp minor by Tzvi Erez
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDzXCttFTWs

Herbert Von Karajan conducting The Blue Danube Waltz (Johann Strauss Jr.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTqlLKBKFhg

Transmission end…… 2322 hour 11/28/09 …